our first week(ish) at home wasn't the best. in fact, on our first day home i told adam that we should have stayed at the hospital. let me rewind though...
we went in on march 15 (monday) with the understanding that we would be dismissed on thursday march 18. when they came in wednesday morning and asked us if we wanted to go home, i was all for it! so we began doing all of our discharge paperwork. we were in no hurry. i went ahead and showered and we slowly prepared for our trek to alvaton to begin our lives as a family of three.
as soon as we got bella in the car and drove off, i started crying and i didn't stop for days! as soon as we got home, bella started crying and didn't stop for hours that night. after a few hours of her crying, we realized we had to head back into bowling green to get some rubbing alcohol for her belly button. it was magical. as soon as we started driving, she stopped crying and went to sleep. our small group was meeting, so adam suggested calling to see if we could stop by and have them pray over us. we did and they did. bella continued to sleep, so our small group leaders suggested that we stay for the study. yes, we went to small group the day we were discharged from the hospital.
when we got home from small group, bella started crying again and didn't stop until 630 the next morning. it was so bad in the middle of the night that we sure did call the nursery at the hospital and ask them what they had done with her! they asked us stupid questions like "is she hungry or dirty?" like we hadn't tried those things!
the next night was better. she only cried from 7pm to 2am. that continued for her first 2 weeks of life. my crying slowed down before that. i cried every time someone called, every time i told adam that i loved him, almost every time that she cried for the first week and a half.
there were times in those first days that i told adam that i loved bella but didn't like her very much at that moment. there were times when i told him how thankful i was for our miracle girl but that i missed him and was sad that it would never be just the two of us again. before bella arrived, i judged mothers who gave up on breastfeeding after a week or two and i judged couples who took their baby to a babysitter after a week. now those things totally make sense to me. breastfeeding is HARD! it is stressful. how do you know if your baby is getting enough!? why does she latch on and then start screaming after 30 seconds of nursing? why does it hurt so bad!? and yes, i was ready to have alone time with my husband the day we brought her home. i never thought i'd consider getting a babysitter so early in her life. when my mom and dad were here last week, adam and i left bella for about an hour just to go to lowe's and it was such a great time!
we love our baby girl dearly. we are so thankful for her and can't believe what a miracle she is! we are, however, looking forward to her sleeping normal hours so we can go to sleep at the same time and get into a routine of being a couple again.
mothers, i'm i crazy or was it this way for you too? yet-to-be-mothers, do you look at mothers or couples that do these things and think "i would never do that!"?
When Time Seems to Overwhelm...
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