ok, so if you've read my blog in the past 5 months, you know good and well that i have been doing everything in my power to nurse my baby girl and that it is my deepest desire to give her my breast milk until her first birthday. so when i was watching good morning america last week and heard the story of gisele bundchen saying that it should be a "worldwide law" for women to breastfeed for the first 6 months of her baby's life, i was a little taken aback. i wasn't angry. i think it brought my feelings of inadequacy back all over again.
for the first 5 or so weeks of sweet bella joy's life i nursed her whenever she cried. it was around that time that we recognized there was an issue and we went to see the lactation consultant. that is when we discovered the issue with b's tongue. at her 2 month check up dr. f referred us to an ent. we couldn't get in for another month. and then when the ent decided surgery was necessary, he couldn't get us in for another month.
so here we are, 4 months old-starting our nursing journey. i pumped like a mad woman for 4 months in anticipation for this day of surgery. i began nursing my baby girl regularly 2 days after surgery. at first it seemed like everything was going to go wonderfully! but i think b just had some extra healing she needed to do and she just wasn't really that hungry still. when she got her appetite back, we quickly realized that i didn't have enough milk to satisfy our growing girl's hunger.
i do not regret going ahead and having the surgery, as she would have had to have it in a few months anyway, but i am very sad that i can't provide breast milk for my sweet baby girl.
so i know that gisele has taken back what she previously said. and i'm sure she didn't mean it when she said it in the first place. i do agree that "breast is best" and i personally think that all women should give it a go. but man, is it so much harder than i ever expected, emotionally. i wasn't breastfed as a baby, and i turned out fine-so i know i shouldn't feel like an inadequate mother. we are still trucking along and praying for a miraculously increased milk supply :).
thats all. i felt this way before gisele made her grand statement, it just made me want to talk about it.
5 days ago