Tuesday, August 10, 2010

on gisele and breastfeeding

ok, so if you've read my blog in the past 5 months, you know good and well that i have been doing everything in my power to nurse my baby girl and that it is my deepest desire to give her my breast milk until her first birthday. so when i was watching good morning america last week and heard the story of gisele bundchen saying that it should be a "worldwide law" for women to breastfeed for the first 6 months of her baby's life, i was a little taken aback. i wasn't angry. i think it brought my feelings of inadequacy back all over again.

for the first 5 or so weeks of sweet bella joy's life i nursed her whenever she cried. it was around that time that we recognized there was an issue and we went to see the lactation consultant. that is when we discovered the issue with b's tongue. at her 2 month check up dr. f referred us to an ent. we couldn't get in for another month. and then when the ent decided surgery was necessary, he couldn't get us in for another month.

so here we are, 4 months old-starting our nursing journey. i pumped like a mad woman for 4 months in anticipation for this day of surgery. i began nursing my baby girl regularly 2 days after surgery. at first it seemed like everything was going to go wonderfully! but i think b just had some extra healing she needed to do and she just wasn't really that hungry still. when she got her appetite back, we quickly realized that i didn't have enough milk to satisfy our growing girl's hunger.

i do not regret going ahead and having the surgery, as she would have had to have it in a few months anyway, but i am very sad that i can't provide breast milk for my sweet baby girl.

so i know that gisele has taken back what she previously said. and i'm sure she didn't mean it when she said it in the first place. i do agree that "breast is best" and i personally think that all women should give it a go. but man, is it so much harder than i ever expected, emotionally. i wasn't breastfed as a baby, and i turned out fine-so i know i shouldn't feel like an inadequate mother. we are still trucking along and praying for a miraculously increased milk supply :).

thats all. i felt this way before gisele made her grand statement, it just made me want to talk about it.


sarahe said...

i hate it when celebrities make insensitive and uninformed comments! it's just like all the stuff w/Jenny McCarthy & autism. It's opinions and don't let it get you down! You are doing your very best and most moms have to supplement at least somewhat. Do you watch the Duggars on TLC? In last week's episode they found out that the cause of their preemie's health issues is lactose intolerance and her momma's breast milk was causing her sickness! And I was breastfed and we don't even need to go into all my health issues...Hugs and prayers! You're doing the best you can!

emily jochim said...

thank you sarah. really. thank you!

Jenny Borders said...

I know exactly what you mean. As moms/women we put so much pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone and the media does not help. The truth is, we do what is best for our families and that is what makes us good moms. You are a fantastic mom who loves her baby girl and sacrifices your own ease for the benefit of her. She has had 4 months of moms milk and that's awesome. And that is not what she will grow to love and remember about her amazing mom. You. Are. Awesome.

jennyD. said...

1. I did not know you had a blog!
2. Marigold and I also had a very hard time with breastfeeding. I cried and cried and cried. For months just the mention of breastfeeding made me feel like a bad mother and would make me weep.
3. From my own experiences there are a couple of herbal things you can do to increase the supply. Also there is a prescribed drug that will increase your supply as well.

Emily said...

I still think you're a rock star mama. :)

markandparx said...

I totally agree with JB ... being a great mom is taking the best care of your baby, including giving her a full tummy. And if that means bottle instead of breast, that's what you need to do & don't think another thing about it! Easier said than done, right? :) But I suppose you could do both ... have a bottle ready when you nurse her & when you're all "dried up," offer her the bottle to cap her off. Also, she's at the age where she can start solids too & that'll help fill up her tummy. And one more thing ... when I can tell my milk is running low, I drink lots (and I mean LOTS) of water! Helps me everytime! Love ya Emily & you are a wonderful mother!!
-parx <><

Jessica said...

As you know, I'm right there with you (in more ways than one). Bella is so lucky to have a Mommy like you ! God has the best plans for each of us (and our kids!)